Ok, I have a hobby or two. Mostly the usual though. Guitar, drawing, singing, reading, writing, playing with animals, language and culture study, uhhh... thinking...
My problem is, I can't often decide which one I like the best so I can get better at it! I've always admired my brothers' ability to play the guitar so well, and I'd LOVE to be good at it! So why won't I just sit down and practice every once in a while?
My sisters and I have always been fairly good singers, though we are not what one might consider "truly talented" in that area. I've always been fascinated in the imagination and how you can present it to others for their pleasure via the Arts. I have only really practiced with Drawing though. I've always done better with b&w than color. If I tried, I think I could be good at painting, but there are so many other things I wish to be good at as well.
My siblings tell me I have a talent for remembering animal trivia and so on... I'd like to be a zoologist, but I'm torn between working with people and animals. I’ve thought of combining the two by working with animal/human physical therapy. That being physical therapy for people by using animals. There are several ways to do this, so I've found. I've also wanted to train animals for human benefit as well. Such as training horses and/or dogs in obedience and handicap companionship. (typo) One of my sisters is always rolling her eyes and saying she hopes all works out well for me as long as she doesn't have to hear about every development in my "inspirations". It can be hard to push your way through foreign territory. None of my siblings have taken this path ahead of me. I find that strange. Being the youngest of nine, many things are suggested to me about how to do this, and how to do that. Rarely do I find myself in a situation like this.
Alas, I make my situation bigger than it already is. I have a supportive family and all the encouragement I could hope for. It's my courage, I find, that fails me. You see, I am shy. The bad kind of shy too. Just when I get up the courage to say what has been on my mind, noone understands what I'm trying to tell them so they are forced to ask again in 'normal' words or phrases. HO HUM... I sometimes hear "Uhhh...I think that makes sense..." from those that are somewhat familiar with my ways. Sometimes I piece things together in my head and forget to mention the connection before I move on to an otherwise unconnected subject. This gives me no end to grief...
As I mentioned in my hobby list, I'm a bibliophile. (I've no idea if that's really how it's spelled, and forgive the other spelling errors please...) In other words, I love to read. My favorite genre is fantasy. One of my favorite books is "Eragon" and "Eldest" by Christopher Paolini. A story of a boy and his dragon, a coming of age and growing of knowledge and strength. When I grow up, I wonder of I will regret spending so much of my time reading and writing instead of making friends that I could have had fun with. The thing is, I am very unsure about how I would do if someone were to tell me I have to go somewhere and make a friend. I would probably just sit around and feel sorry for myself, thinking I'm so misunderstood. This, I think, is my greatest flaw in my character, though of my own making. God makes us all with courage for the things that need to be done in His Master Plan. I'm just too chicken to use it if I don't have an army behind me reaching for the same goal.
I fear pride in myself because it has brought down the greatest of minds and muscles of our human history. I am afraid to be meek for fear of being humbled further than intended. I fear what great things God may have planned for me in this Plan of His. Will I ever see Him? Will I die before I can say I'm sorry for my sins? When I write these words, I feel a ache in my heart. My real, physical heart. I could cry if I dwell on how much he loves me. Not for sadness, but for joy and wonder. I feel soooooo small compared to His love for me. I hope I will always have the ability to feel this way when I have grown fully. To feel small again, like I could fit inside a mustard seed.
Me and my feelings run away too often. I must apologize for this. Sorry! I let on more than I should but this is what I do best! lol
TTYL
Bridge
