Friends, food and DOGS..... in that order.

So many things are pulling me in different directions. This isn't really that unusual because I'm 18 though only slightly ambitious.

Goals for this year:

*finish high school

*get a real Job

*get an apartment/move out of the house

*get a dog

I'm pretty sure it goes in that order, in terms of priorities. I HAVE to finish high school education. That is something I'm requiring of myself. For a long time, I was thinking seriously of going to college. I visited a couple and found a few problems, or you can call them "interesting findings".

1) I must get college loans, because there is very little chance of me (being a home-schooled kid) getting grants or scholarships at this point.

2) The information I'm learning on the campuses can also be learned at home for a smaller price as well as getting paid as an apprentice.

3) I would be living on campus with stupid rules (like no car for your first year and dorm stuff) for me to really value the social value, whatever that is. People put so much stock in that, but I wouldn't be going to college for social reasons. I'm sorry, but that's not a good enough reason for me to spend that much of someone else's money (or pretty much money I'll have to pay back when I'm thirty). Social life can be gained while learning in a different style.

Knowing these things, I refuse to become in such debt with the government or banks. That's probably one of the stupidest things I could do right now.

There is a huge farm trend in my family life these days. My brother and dad are putting together budgets and information for a future farm. They are going to find land and livestock providers before spring because that's when they have to start. I don't know how they want things to be started and all that but I have a massive craving to be a part of this. It's who I am! I've dreamed about living on a farm with a dog and cows since I was really little. I'm not a city person. I feel so in between, like I don't fit into either worlds yet. All I want is to become my own person with fulfilling work. Is that too much to ask from the world?

I started getting into Cesar Millan. I mean, obviously, his work. It's beautiful to see people and animals living together in harmony, not equality. That's not the way we are meant to live with them. In his book (I got it for Christmas, YAY!) "Be the Pack Leader" he says that we should perfect democracy among human beings before we start imposing it on animals. That's an interesting statement. I only have one problem with his thinking. He thinks of people as animals too, though somehow different than other animals. We have infrastructure and we have the natural ability to make all other animals work in harmony.

Our unique ability to do this in nature is not coincidence though. I'm not clear on how he thinks of that but I am sure that most of his understanding has helped me see the natural place of things. He just sees humans in a different place in the totem pole than me! haha

So many things that I've been learning about recently fit together to form this beautiful truth about people. We are different from everything out there. And furthermore, it's impossible for any one to be exactly like the other. We are so different yet so similar. Beauty indeed.

Just a 'hey'

Just saying that I've made a 'twitter'.
Visit it if you feel like it but I don't know how much you'll be able to see if you don't have a twitter yourself.
Anyway, the user name you can see me by is "BridgeBenedict", the Benedict being my confirmation name.
See you!

This March day...

This March day, I worked my way;
my hands were numb, useless as a drum.
I dreamed of the sun
in a far off place,
where it warmed my feet
as well as my face.

This March day, I was frozen in place
when a world weary woman
found me in space.
She looked in my eyes and
chuckled a little;
but I was not there,
and cared not a spittle.

This March day,
I walked in a daze,
I guess you could call it
a miniature phase.

This March day
the sun winked weakly,
making my vest
shine like a binky.

This March day,
I came to,
so I looked around
and found...
I was in the middle of the street,
for the great sake of Pete!


Hope you enjoyed the horrible poem. Now I must go and... write down some morem!
(I crack myself up.) God Bless!

P.S. I just completed my second day as a crossing guard for a school close by in case you're worried about my sanity. Thanks for reading!

Time to Binky

I have had far too many oportunities that I give up...

1) Call someone I took horse riding lessons from and ask if I can WORK for lessons...

2) Finish school work now and have a free and easy summer early...

3) Build bunny pen in back yard and don't worry about them not getting enough exercise...

4) Move down from the Attic of my house so my sister and I can have our own rooms...

That's all I can think of at the moment, but be assured there are many more. Thankfully I have now done two of those things in that short list. I found out all I have to do is mowe the lawn once a week for a horse-riding lesson for goodness sake!!!! I've been really missing those lessons since I stopped taking them about two years ago and I've been meaning to call about working for them. Now, it's a certain deel and I only just called yesterday evening! What got me to pick up the phone in the first place was Cathy, my sister. "I guess in a way this shows you how you will do things for the rest of your life and how you will act about making phone calls in the future." And since I am hoping to go into an animal related career, this made me glare at the phone before I snapped it up and punched in the numbers. As for the schoolwork... I'm still working on that... I have built the bunny pen though! Well, my brother really did the building while I sort of held this and tossed him that and that sort of thing. Anyway, the bunnies are now able to run around and Binky as they please. Have you ever heard of a bunny Binky? NO? Well, it's sort of a jump/hop/twist in midair. It's really funny to watch and always gets me laughing when they do it. It means they're happy. They don't have room for a Binky in their cage so when I put them in the pen, they Binky to their little hearts content. What's even better though is when you try to imitate them! Of course, there are two things likely to happen when I try to do a jump/hop/twist in midair. Either I scare them really bad and have to wait a while before they think it's OK to approach me again... or, they realize that I'm just kinda bad at Binkying and they'll do two more Binkies in a row! The cool thing about bunnies is that they are Very social animals. Since they don't make any noises, except the occasional grunt or growl when they're mad, body language is their native toung. It's pretty understandable if you take the care to learn it...

Foot stomp: usually means you or someone else is doing something they don't like.

Ear toss: is a sign they are happy and/or content with you.

Turned back: means either they are upset with you or (if you are petting them) they want you to scratch a certain spot. (Note - If the bunny turns it's back but then looks back at you for a few seconds, that means they would be willing o except an apology)

Lowering of head: means they want you to pet them on the head. (Note - In bunny world, the groomer is the servant and the groomed is the boss. If a whole bunch of bunnies are grooming this one rabbit, that rabbit is the boss. So when you pet the bunny's head, it is a gesture of obedience. Not usually a bad thing...)

Lowering of whole body and ears: this generally means they are afraid.

Chin rubbing: like a cat, a bunny marks territory often by rubbing it's chin on something. Casual territory marking I assure you. They have other ways to mark the more serious boundaries just like a cat or dog. If they rub their chin on you, that is a compliment.


There are many more things to look out for but I don't want to tell too much about these things if you have no interest in bunnies. If you are however, here is a link to a good bunny-language website.

Well, I don't think I talked about going to New York, New York yet but I'll save that for another time. For now, I have a bunch of things to do so I'll talk to you later.

God Bless,
Bridge

Chatholic Youth today...

What would the world be like if all people who called themselves Catholic really knew the teachings and Believed them with all their heart? Quite a different one, I assure you.

I was talking to my Lit. teacher today after class. Besides her and my sister/classmate, my mother and my Lit. teacher's daughter Abby were also present. We talked on a great many of subjects, not the least of which was Catholic education. Being a couple of Home-schooled families, we had interesting views to bring to the table (though mentioned in great detail on many other occasions). Abby was talking about when she went to a "Engaged Encounter" with her fiance. We started talking about how many couples at this event were cohabiting which was about twenty-one out of twenty-three.

(cringe)

The priest, when asked about cohabiting before Catholic marriage, said "Living together and cohabiting are two different things. Living together is OK but cohabiting is not. As long as you go to Confession a few days before hand, you should be able to receive Communion at your wedding." No Comment. I'll leave that one alone for the sake of sanity. (Whether for yours or mine, I couldn't say.)

Different generations will be effected by how much we choose to tell our youth about the Faith. If you don't give us a chance to choose what is really true by giving us non answers, we can hardly be expected to respect you for your convictions or lack there of. We cannot sit on the fence anymore. If you tell us only half the truth, how can you expect us to be more than half Catholics? Young people all over are trying to choose the right thing but the right thing rarely asks little of us and we recognize that. The Muslim faith looks attractive for this reason. We are happiest when our consciences are at rest. If we feel we are doing all that we can, why should we feel guilty or unhappy in any way? Of course, I realize this goes both ways. Some people I know that will go unnamed feel that "Catholicism is all about guilt and meaningless work." "Why sacrifice for a god who condemns your friends who make honest mistakes?" I feel that this has got to be the hardest burden of a Catholic. Watching your friends and loved ones go down a painful path and refuse to be helped. There is a deep ache in my heart for each and every one of those people that I know and for the people that have been mentioned in prayer. If only I could gather all the information I knew they needed to know in a couple sentences... Their minds have a very short time of openness to the Holy Spirit.

For those of you who might be reading this that are anti Catholic, please don't think that I am a snob or 'know-it-all', the kind who only thinks they know what others need. It hurts to be scoffed at and resented for your sincere love and hope for others. While I do not know a minuscule percentage of what I should like to about the Faith, I know what it feels like to be lied to by all evil in your life. It never fails to make the truth sound detestable. You know when you go to a party or event that sounded like it'd be embarrassing or your just not feeling up to it? But then you go. And you have a great time that you wouldn't trade for anything you could have been doing just then. At least, that has been my experience. My mom and dad decided they wouldn't hold anything back from my education about Catholicism. They took me out of my Catholic Private school and home-schooled me. We have traveled to places that wouldn't have been an option before. My sister and I have had a wonderful and rich relationship with God that has led me to be happy and grateful for all that I have, and hopefully will have after I die. This joy and wonderful thing is precious to me. I have met so many people that I could not have otherwise and who made an impact on how I now live everyday. Those same people that said those things about the Catholic Church don't understand who I am because they don't believe. They can never understand me until they know who I know and live like I live.

If this is too much to ask, then forgive me my presumption.